You’ll see me tomorrow because I believe that I was created for more than this. I believe that tomorrow will be better than today.
This summer was very difficult. I was dismissed from my job before summer could even begin. I was incredibly shocked and hurt. But mostly, I felt worthless.
I consider myself a very hard worker. I am very passionate about my work and become very invested — maybe a little too much.
It’s so easy to find my worth in my job.
But as the saying goes, if who you are is found in what you do, who are you after it’s lost?
I spent the summer wanting to hide under the covers. I fought regularly against thoughts of giving up and saying goodbye to it all.
Depression is the unhealed wound I will forever bear. Sometimes I can put a band-aid on it and other times it’s covered in a scab. But every so often life rips it open and I’m left dealing with a fresh wound all over again.
I have dealt with suicidal thoughts before I could even write in cursive. I don’t want to die but sometimes I’m just too overwhelmed to live.
I am so thankful for the people in my life that have allowed me to express this. For the people who have never made me feel ashamed. For the people that never made lame cliché statements. For the people that have let me sleep for hours and let me cry my eyes out. For the people that just sat with me, letting me know they were there.
And so I continue. I don’t give up because I believe that tomorrow is brighter.
And I know that I have to do what I can to ensure that future. This summer I set small goals, started little projects & made sure to laugh hysterically.
I pray for those struggling with suicide. I pray that you find a community that can love and support you. And if you know someone struggling, I pray that you learn how to just be there. Because everyone matters very much and I hope to see you all tomorrow.
Get more information on this campaign with To Write Love On Her Arms and help raise awareness for World Suicide Prevention Day on September 10th, 2015.