I love Taylor Swift’s song “Shake it Off”. It’s definitely my happy song & I try to listen it to it on repeat on very grumpy days. But sometimes I feel a bit guilty loving it since it’s all about ignoring the haters. I don’t have any haters—I am a hater.
I think it’s pretty vulnerable of me to put that in writing but I’m going to be honest.
Usually, I laugh about how I talk about people—I refuse to take it seriously. I mean, isn’t that what social media is for?! To look at people’s photos and then talk about them with your husband during dinner?! But I probably take it a million steps too far. I Facebook stalk like it’s a part of my religion. I click on strangers in tagged photos in strangers’ photos for hours until I forget which of my real friends even led me there. Sometimes when I recognize someone at the mall, I have to double check that I haven’t just stalked them online. I thought it was amusing that I would call friends and send them to a stranger’s profile & tell them to check profile picture 34 of 87.
I don’t think I was always a hater—maybe I was and social media just brought it to light. But I’ve finally realized that it is not okay.
While having brunch with a friend, there was a very small lull in the conversation and I decided to fill the emptiness to talk about a stranger’s Instagram (who I’m not even following, by the way). I’ve never met this guy and though people tell me I’ve seen him at clubs, he definitely doesn’t know me. Either way, I felt I had the right to talk about his life in a very negative way.
And I heard God whisper ever so softly and lovingly, “Kisha, who do you think you are?!”
Despite the overwhelming feeling of guilt, I continued to judge and mock this guy’s life and decisions.
Later that day, to find some solace, I decided to look up “hater” quotes on Pinterest. I was hoping to find something that would let me know I was normal. I wanted to know that everyone was hating and it was perfectly okay to continue. Obviously, I found nothing that even resembled that.
As I scrolled through the quotes, I finally admitted that I am in fact a real hater. I also came to the realization that I was one because I am jealous and insecure.
And then God whispered every so softly and lovingly, “Kisha, who do you think you are?!”
I still don’t have an answer to that question. In the coming weeks, I’ll be sure to share that part of my journey with you. But right now, I’m focusing on being happy for others. I want to be happy for their successes and accomplishments. I want to thank God for blessing them with many talents and opportunities.
And for the others, whose social media is a bit more disconcerting, I’m trying to remember to love because everyone has a story.