Keep Your 50 Shades!

Last weekend I watched 50 Shades of Grey…

I didn’t read the books because I don’t like to read anything that has a lot of sexual content. I’m way too susceptible to entertainment. I often dream about characters in a book or replay TV shows in my mind for weeks.

One of my best friends says it’s because I’m not just watching a movie or reading a book, I become immersed in it… I become another character in the plot.

Consequently, I am very picky about what I put into this pliable mind of mine.

Thankfully, I was not riveted by 50 Shades. I think the main reason I didn’t like it was because I also hated Twilight, which is what 50 Shades is based on. The whole experience made me despise it so much more.

I remember during the Twilight hype, someone telling me that Bella and Edward are the greatest love story of our time. My jaw-dropped! Are people really comparing Bella and Edward to Romeo and Juliet?! She actually felt like Twilight was better… and then Shakespeare rolled over in his grave.

Both Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey glorify an obsessive and possessive relationship. The girl is frail, pale and klutzy. And the guy is gorgeous and mysterious. They both feel drawn to each other but for very different reasons; she’s intrigued and he wants to hurt her. Thankfully, in Twilight he doesn’t, but the same cannot be said for 50 Shades.

I’m having a very hard time seeing the appeal in this type of relationship. It amazes that we could still be perpetuating the idea that girls are porcelain dolls that can be easily manipulated to please a man. At least Disney princesses were not at risk of being hurt by their princes.

And it scares me to think of how many people are now believing that this is what love looks like. I would like to say that they aren’t, but by how much money the books and movie has done, I can only gather that people are buying into it… literally.

Are girls and women really looking for a man that is obsessed with them? Do boys and men really want to control their significant others? Is this really a dream come true?

This is not the type of relationship I want. I want my husband to love me but not need me. I want him to trust me to make my own decisions. I want him to make decisions that better both of us. I want him to find support to work out his issues instead of choosing to deal with it in a way that hurts us. I want my husband to protect me without controlling me. I want my husband to let me protect him without controlling him. My husband and I are a team. We signed a contract not because we want to control each other, but because we want to be on the same page and working towards the same goal.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (MSG)


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